I MOVED ON

 Before anything else I have my new Blog site name http://davemercado.webs.com Please have time to read some of it, thanks thanks!

OK! Here is the FAQ

I get a lot of people asking me for advice. To these people I say: Are you kidding me? Did you read my blog? I hopped my ex’s fence, so I am the last person you probably want to ask for advice. However, since the demand has been so high and I’d like to think I’ve matured a bit since my fence-hopping days, I will give it a go. This is in response to the many questions you lovely readers send me. Hope it helps!

Don’t waste your time on people who don’t treat you well.  That seems obvious right? Well I’m pretty sure that I am surrounded by masochists because I get a lot of mail along the lines of “He cheated. How do I get him back?” and “I love him, but he broke up with me and now he’s dating my cousin,” etc. Breaking up hurts, but being with someone who treats you like shit hurts way more in the long run, so nurse your breakup hangover with a pint of ice cream or a few vodka sodas (for my over 21 fans) and be reassured that he or she will probably die miserable and alone someday.
Listen, listen, listen. Yeah, I know. Of course we heard him when he said he didn’t want a boyfriend, but like, we don’t want to be in a relationship either. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve made this mistake. I see a cute guy I like and I go deaf. I ignore all the signs that this is not a good fit and go barreling blindly ahead.  If this is too vague for you, I’ve compiled a list of signs that this person will not be a good girlfriend/boyfriend from various friends’ and my many experiences with “not listening:”

• Tells you he (or she) is moving back to his country in a month and just wants to have a good time
• Is wearing a wedding ring, but is currently in the middle of a divorce
• Does not bathe, or have a job, or do anything productive really
• Has a car seat in the backseat but makes no mention of having a child
• Still lives with his ex, but only because “finding an apartment in this city is hard”
• Is “poly amorous” (look that one up kiddies… it’s not cheating if it’s an open relationship)

Which brings me to my next point…
Be honest with yourself about what you want. Don’t change to fit his or her wants and needs.  So be realistic and stay true to yourself.  You may feel like you’re losing out on something in that moment, but really you’re just opening yourself up to meeting someone who actually wants and likes the same things as you.
Focus on YOU.  According to me, every person I ever dated has an amazing relationship with someone else now. I am the only single person on this planet and I know a loneliness that no one except the most pathetic ogre could possibly understand. It’s easy to become jealous after a breakup. People move on and your ex will date other people. But so will you even if he gets there first.  And just try to be satisfied with the fact that deep down he will never find anyone better than you and you’re way hotter than his new girlfriend anyways. It works for me. Just kidding (sort of.)
Am I over him? A few weeks ago, a coworker of mine was telling me about the guy who broke his heart and nodding, I said, “Yeah mine was named—” Total blankness. I literally could not recall the name of the boy who made me crazy nearly every day for almost one year. Of course, I forget what I’m watching on tv while the commercials are on and his name came to me a few seconds later, but I realized something.
The past few months had been so busy, I barely had time to think, let alone obsess.  I only got over him when I stopped worrying so much about whether I would ever get over him.  Of course after my conversation at work that night, I went home and Google the shit out of him so… Yes and no?
As for all the other specific questions you guys asked, I will try to answer some of them in this list of Do’s and Don'ts.

• Don’t get back together with him if he was a shithead the first time. This will likely not change.
• Don’t date your best friend’s ex without her permission no matter how much you love him because that’s asshole behavior and no one likes an asshole.
• Do blog. I love hearing other people tell me about their blogs. Writing is super cathartic!
• Don’t worry about friends who choose him over you. They clearly weren’t good friends in the first place.
• Don’t worry if you act a bit crazy in the midst of a breakup. We all have our moments. Just don’t get yourself arrested… it sucks.
• Don’t wait for him if he begins dating someone new, but you know they aren’t meant to be. Life is not a Nicholas Sparks novel.
• Do let yourself fall in love again. Even with all the shit parts, I still think it’s worth it.

There you go. That’s all I’ve got.

MY BROKEN HEART

Getting your heart broken sucks. No girl (or guy) should ever have to have their heart broken. But it's a part of life. It may not feel like it, but things will be okay. I know it hurts now but it does get better. Keep your head up. Stay strong. Be positive and don't let anybody bring you down. Remember, there is someone out there for you.

Sticking around by your side whenever you need me. Disappear from your sight whenever I'm not needed. Not being some1 special even though i tried hard. but it's okay. :) love is not something you give out and expect to receive something else back. i well known myself is not prepare for you. i'd got no aim in life, don't have a good job, well. not rich, and spirit all broken down like a piece of shit at home only. failed my abroad application, which suppose to be my last light to life. hmm... feel i couldn't accomplished anything in life. i feel so useless. :'( and i couldn't do a shit to help it.

It's hard to love someone without getting loved back the same way. hmm.. like i said. It's hard. dunno how long my weak heart can stay this. Every time is just hot and cold. How to love you fully when you don't even open up your heart and let love in?I care for you, but you always say that you're fine you don't want me to care for you  anymore. Still, you're the one i think of before going to bed, my heart is feeling uncomfortable and insomnia every time until i know you're home safe. Couldn't deny there's a part in me that's very protective. Always say you can take care yourself, always meeting out with stranger, but didn't you know that there's a lot of bad guy that will take advantage of you just like that? they can make you drunk, or they can even put drug inside your cup and make u knock off?

Though, knowing that you're not that kind of guy that will stick around by my side, yet i still been trying hard and not giving up until i manage to get your heart. And it was a long run.. and it kills me day by day knowing that you're not home, outside drinking with some else random guy. Jealousy does kill when you care so much about that person. Really make me feel like giving up, slowly you're straying away. and so do i. I don't know whats real or whats fake anymore. So, i decided to stop this foolishness of me. No point strangling myself knowing that I ain't the one that gonna make you smile everyday, having those flirt talk and make you give a damn.  Days gone by, and this shows that We're just another passer-by in each other life. :'( P/S I really do love you all these while. But letting you go is best for the both of us.

HE CHEATED ON ME

It all happened so fast.

Actually, while, writing this entry, I'm still digesting every last detail of it.

For the first time in my life, I was speechless. My emotion was very unsteady and I did not know how to react.

What happened?

Simple: I just found out that my recent "ex" who broke up with me because he can no longer see/feel the so called "spark" was actually having sexual affair with someone else prior our break up. I just remember that long letter he sent me on facebook message where he indicated that for some reason, something's changed only to find out in the end that he can just summarized that BS into four words: "HE CHEATED ON ME".

Yes, again, I was victimized by INFIDELITY/THIRD PARTY

Why is it that people can't stick to only one mate? Why are they in a relationship in the first place? and Is it really hard for them to be honest to their partner specially during break-up? Do they think that it's hard to admit their mistake? or Are they even aware that it was a mistake?

DON'T EVER LIE AGAIN. JUST BE HONEST. EVERYONE DESERVES THAT.

P.S.

If you really can't be honest with others, then at least be honest with yourself ^^

FEELING BROKEN

My boyfriend and I have been dating a month. I'll jump right into it. At the very beginning of our relationship, we were essentially exclusive just didn't have official "titles". We go out to a bar with all our friends, its a great night, until I look over and he's making phone conversation with the boy  I know. I approached him upset, he looks at me looks back at his phone and ignores me (he does claim he was way to drunk and does not remember any of this...). I left immediately. After some very rocky following days, I decided to give him another chance, forgive and move forward as he said nothing else happened that night and he went home alone.

A month into our relationship he reveals to me that he had a realtionship with this guy and slept with him. He said he lied because he thought I would never give him another chance. The lie completely broke me. But I still decided to stay with him and try to work through this.

Anyways, now things are not good. I suppressed my feelings of anger, sadness, and betrayal the whole time because I wanted to have a tough exterior. Now I constantly question and interrogate him, get more jealous than I ever would, and feel extremely self-conscious when I go out.

Yes, there are still great aspects to our relationship, but how do I move on? How do I get my self-confidence back? How do I learn to trust again? How do I block out the horrible mental images I have of him with this girl he kicked me to the curb for?

Most likely we will break-up, but for the sake of my mental health, I would really appreciate any feedback, advice, or suggestions.