MY BROKEN HEART

Getting your heart broken sucks. No girl (or guy) should ever have to have their heart broken. But it's a part of life. It may not feel like it, but things will be okay. I know it hurts now but it does get better. Keep your head up. Stay strong. Be positive and don't let anybody bring you down. Remember, there is someone out there for you.

Sticking around by your side whenever you need me. Disappear from your sight whenever I'm not needed. Not being some1 special even though i tried hard. but it's okay. :) love is not something you give out and expect to receive something else back. i well known myself is not prepare for you. i'd got no aim in life, don't have a good job, well. not rich, and spirit all broken down like a piece of shit at home only. failed my abroad application, which suppose to be my last light to life. hmm... feel i couldn't accomplished anything in life. i feel so useless. :'( and i couldn't do a shit to help it.

It's hard to love someone without getting loved back the same way. hmm.. like i said. It's hard. dunno how long my weak heart can stay this. Every time is just hot and cold. How to love you fully when you don't even open up your heart and let love in?I care for you, but you always say that you're fine you don't want me to care for you  anymore. Still, you're the one i think of before going to bed, my heart is feeling uncomfortable and insomnia every time until i know you're home safe. Couldn't deny there's a part in me that's very protective. Always say you can take care yourself, always meeting out with stranger, but didn't you know that there's a lot of bad guy that will take advantage of you just like that? they can make you drunk, or they can even put drug inside your cup and make u knock off?

Though, knowing that you're not that kind of guy that will stick around by my side, yet i still been trying hard and not giving up until i manage to get your heart. And it was a long run.. and it kills me day by day knowing that you're not home, outside drinking with some else random guy. Jealousy does kill when you care so much about that person. Really make me feel like giving up, slowly you're straying away. and so do i. I don't know whats real or whats fake anymore. So, i decided to stop this foolishness of me. No point strangling myself knowing that I ain't the one that gonna make you smile everyday, having those flirt talk and make you give a damn.  Days gone by, and this shows that We're just another passer-by in each other life. :'( P/S I really do love you all these while. But letting you go is best for the both of us.

HE CHEATED ON ME

It all happened so fast.

Actually, while, writing this entry, I'm still digesting every last detail of it.

For the first time in my life, I was speechless. My emotion was very unsteady and I did not know how to react.

What happened?

Simple: I just found out that my recent "ex" who broke up with me because he can no longer see/feel the so called "spark" was actually having sexual affair with someone else prior our break up. I just remember that long letter he sent me on facebook message where he indicated that for some reason, something's changed only to find out in the end that he can just summarized that BS into four words: "HE CHEATED ON ME".

Yes, again, I was victimized by INFIDELITY/THIRD PARTY

Why is it that people can't stick to only one mate? Why are they in a relationship in the first place? and Is it really hard for them to be honest to their partner specially during break-up? Do they think that it's hard to admit their mistake? or Are they even aware that it was a mistake?

DON'T EVER LIE AGAIN. JUST BE HONEST. EVERYONE DESERVES THAT.

P.S.

If you really can't be honest with others, then at least be honest with yourself ^^

FEELING BROKEN

My boyfriend and I have been dating a month. I'll jump right into it. At the very beginning of our relationship, we were essentially exclusive just didn't have official "titles". We go out to a bar with all our friends, its a great night, until I look over and he's making phone conversation with the boy  I know. I approached him upset, he looks at me looks back at his phone and ignores me (he does claim he was way to drunk and does not remember any of this...). I left immediately. After some very rocky following days, I decided to give him another chance, forgive and move forward as he said nothing else happened that night and he went home alone.

A month into our relationship he reveals to me that he had a realtionship with this guy and slept with him. He said he lied because he thought I would never give him another chance. The lie completely broke me. But I still decided to stay with him and try to work through this.

Anyways, now things are not good. I suppressed my feelings of anger, sadness, and betrayal the whole time because I wanted to have a tough exterior. Now I constantly question and interrogate him, get more jealous than I ever would, and feel extremely self-conscious when I go out.

Yes, there are still great aspects to our relationship, but how do I move on? How do I get my self-confidence back? How do I learn to trust again? How do I block out the horrible mental images I have of him with this girl he kicked me to the curb for?

Most likely we will break-up, but for the sake of my mental health, I would really appreciate any feedback, advice, or suggestions.