BEFRIENDING YOUR EX

They said, you cannot befriend your ex BUT I beg to disagree.

I was uploading my new pics entry on Facebook yesterday when my mobile phone beeped once indicating that I have a new text message. I thought the message was work related or just another random quotes from my clan or friends however it turned out to be a text from one of my EX. His name is JONAS.

JONAS is a 31-year old bartender somewhere in Cavite. Like my other ex, straight people won't be able to easily identify him as one of us because he talks, he moves and he dresses like a real man. In short, you need to be a member of People Like Us (PLU) to know that he's also gay.

Anyway, I can no longer remember the last time we had a face to face conversation but all I know, whenever I had a chance to drop by his place, I always make sure that I contact him to set an unplanned meet up however most of the time, he wasn't able to answer my calls because it's either he's not home or he's already on his deep sleep. He's my ex.

"Bhe, kmusta? San ka ngayon?" That's his first text. I replied, "Aus. Bahay lang ako.Bakit? Anong meron?" Then he answered back, "Wla aman. Tambay tau... Hehe bored d2 bhay. Without hesitation, I replied, "Ok, maliligo lang muna ako, bihis then alis na rin agad".

After an hour and a half, I arrived in our meeting place. I called him, "San na, dito nako". He said, "Papunta nako dyan wag ka nang umalis dyan". I said "cge cge" then I hung up the phone. 10min passed then he arrived. He's wearing a simple shirt, jeans and a leather slippers. I noticed that he's not wearing a cap like he used to. I didn't even bother to ask him that. He's my ex.

He greeted me with a smile. "Oi, pumapayat ka ah". Then I said, "ngee,kailan ba ako naging mataba... Baka IKAW ang tumataba". I said it in an exaggerated tone. I intentionally put an emphasis on the word "IKAW". He knows that I'm pertaining to his body being a bit overweight. We both laughed. We tried to contact our other friends however they said that they won't be able to make it due to their busy schedules? (or maybe lovelife?!). We ordered some foods.

The first part of the conversation was about our common friends. How are they? What's new with them? Who are their partners now? Stuffs like that. Then the latter part which is always my favorite focused more on sharing lovelife, work and family. This separates Jonas from the rest of my friends in our clan. I don't know if he's just fond of sharing his life stories with others or he's just depress, bored or something that time that he wanted someone to listen to him, but still, having the guts to say something about his personal issues is a big deal for me. It means he trust me. He's my ex.

While we're discussing about my stories he said, "Maswerte ka tanggap ka ng magulang mo". I smiled then said, "Yun lang naman ang hinihintay ng lahat ng katulad natin eh, na tanggapin tayo ng family natin. Pag nangyari yon, wala na tayong pakialam pa sa sasabihin ng ibang tao. Yon kasi ang mahalaga. Tanggap ka ng pamilya mo". He only said one word, "Tama". I continued, "Ako kaya? kailan kaya uli ako ma su surprise? I mean, first, nung umamin ako sa pamilya ko na ganito ako,actually di ako umamin , they just noticed pero wala silang pakialam na bading ang anak nila. kakaiba di ba? He interrupted, "Ako kaya? Kailan masu surprise? Wag naman sana". We both laughed.

Then he shared something about his colleagues at work who has been diagnosed with HIV. Then I told him, "Alam mo yan ang gusto kong maranasan eh. Maging terminally ill. Weird nga eh. Kasi ako yung tipo ng tao na gusto kong maranasan yung ayaw ng karamihan like being terminally ill, like dying. Sabi kasi nila mahirap eh kaya gusto kong subukan kung talagang mahirap nga talaga dalhin. Kung kakayanin ko ba talaga. Ang weird noh?" Gusto ko nga rin maglaslas para makilala ko yung mga tunay kong kaibigan na magdadala sa akin ng isang basket na oranges...lols

He asked me, "Hindi ka ba takot mamatay?" I responded, "hindi. Hindi ko iniisip yun eh. Ready kasi ako. mamatay man ako ngayon pagkatapos nating mag usap, no regrets. Kasi masaya ako sa buhay ko. wala akong pagsisisihan. Sobrang nag enjoy ako. Kuntento ako kaya ready akong mamatay kahit kailan." He asked me again, "Hindi mo ba naiisip kung san ka mapupunta pag namatay ka?" I smiled and said, "Hindi ko iniisip yon. Agnostic nga ako diba?" Again, He's my ex.

This is the kind of conversation I always wanted to have with my other friends. You can talk anything under the sun without considering time and distance. You can discuss everything about your life without having fear that the other person won't listen, instead judge you and You can always be the real "you" without people asking for any explanations. 

They said, you cannot befriend your ex BUT I beg to disagree.

I always enjoy being with Jonas despite the fact that he's part of my past. The secret? We're not afraid to communicate with each other until such time that we're able to build a stronger form of friendship. An incomparable relationship indeed. We really complement each other and I tell you, that's the kind of friendship every individual would ever want with their "used to be" partners. 

Others would say, "It worked for you but that doesn't mean it will work for us".

They might be right, but who knows? Maybe it's just a matter of time...

Or maybe, they should start bridging the gap with their ex as early as now ^^